001
James
Hi! I'm James! I'm the real-life author of this thing!
Overanalysis Guy
You know you're not, dude.
James
Oh shut up. Close enough. It's understood that the text they're reading isn't actually my person.
Overanalysis Guy
Well I'm not actually a man. I'm a figment of your imagination you created as a fictional personification of your own inclination to overanalyze.
James
In case you hadn't noticed, this is Overanalysis Guy. He never seems to shut up.
Overanalysis Guy
Well "shut up" doesn't really apply, since I'm a thought train inside your head.
James
Weren't I supposed to introduce some more of you guys by now? This is not how the introduction was supposed to go.
Poor Sense of Humor Guy
Maybe you're supposed to go.
James
No one likes you Poor Sense of Humor Guy. At least your brother can actually be funny.
Overanalysis Guy
Not brothers. Figments of imagination.
James
Thank you.
Sarcastic Guy
Hey, that's my line. But whatever. It's not like I have a job to do here or anything. It's not like your sense of humor is nuanced enough for well thought-out sarcasm or anything. I feel really appreciated here gu-
James
Dude. Overdoing it.
Sarcastic Guy
No I'm not.
Overanalysis Guy
He's right. He's another fictional personification. He's Sarcasm Man, of course he's going to be excessively sarcastic.
James
I'm starting to think your lines are going to be the most boring to any readers.
Overanalysis Guy
Only the boring ones.
Witty Guy
You're learning well, oh overanalyzing one.
Sarcastic Guy
Oh great. Witty Guy's here.
James
I was gonna give either you or Witty Guy a line there, Sarcastic Dude, but I couldn't decide for which one of you it was most appropriate.
Overanalysis Guy
See, that's what happens when people try to block things up into discrete sections. Most classification scales should be spectra.
James
Yeah, except you of all people should know why I made you guys into characters.
Overanalysis Guy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for the sake of the narrative. I guess I can't think of a better way to do it at the moment either.
James
Good. because that would be weird.
Unenthused Guy
Weren't the humorous guys supposed to have more lines? Where's Pun Guy. He's either pairing up with Witty Guy for a decent joke or he's all by himself and it's just pitiful.
Overanalysis Guy
Hey stop quoting me.
Unenthused Guy
Am I quoting you or James though? You know we're just figments of his imagination, right? Personifications of sections of his psyche.
Overanalysis Guy
Do your job and be unenthused. Stop doing my job.
Unenthused Guy
I am doing my job. I'm being unenthused. I can't help it if James can only think of overanalysis lines for me. Maybe he shouldn't even have written me in at all.
James
Oh come on. I--
Movie Quotes Guy
Nice hobbit. Always so polite. We writes them into experimental literature that no one else has tried--
Overanalysis Guy
Dude. It's probably been tried before.
Unenthused Guy
Oh shut up.
Movie Quotes Guy
...and he says-- dammit it doesn't really work well after that.
Unenthused Guy
It wasn't really working very well at all actually. You've been hanging around with Poor Sense of Humor Guy again, haven't you, Movie Quote Guy.
Overanalysis Guy
Only if James thinks he has.
Sarcastic Guy
I really like that Smeagol quote, by the way.
James
I'd tell you to shut up, Overanalysis Guy, but you seem to be the personification that seems to be the best at providing me with some actual lines here.
Overanalysis Guy
Oh please. You can give yourself any lines you want. You're the host personification, we're just figurative department heads of some of your mental and emotional faculties. However, as a figment of your imagination I may be able to influence you into developing me more as a character. Get me more lines. Yeah that sounds good. I think I'll do that.
Self-Awareness Man
Possible antagonist! You might be able to make this into an actual story after all, James!
James
Oh shut up. You know I can shut you down any time I want, right? I have absolute power here.
Overanalysis Guy
Do you though?
Sarcastic Guy
Oh no, please. Feel free to dominate the conversation guys. We others just love sitting around watching you go at it. Totally entertaining.
James
Please ignore him.
Overanalysis Guy
Liar.
James
Excuse me?
Overanalysis Guy
You don't want them to ignore him.
James
Oh, here we go.
Overanalysis Guy
You just added that line because you felt like you were deviating from your original idea of simulating a group discussion of various aspects of your psyche. But what's going on at the moment is a plain and simple dialogue between the fictional personification of your overanalysis and the part of you that feels so much like what you think your identity is that you can't easily assign an archetypal character to it.
Self-Awareness Guy
Pretty sure Overanalysis Guy got that idea from me.
Self-Doubt Guy
Is archetypal being used correctly there? You know I don't like it when you guys use words we haven't seen defined in an actual dictionary before.
Random Observation Guy
Dude you shoulda used something other than Notepad. You're gonna have to get rid of so many red squiggly lines with this script.
James
You know why I didn't use Google Docs.
Sarcastic Guy
Yup. Gotta love the internet situation up here.
James
Ok I'm shutting this down.
Unenthused Guy
Yay.
Sarcastic Guy
Dammit. Beat me to it Unenthused Guy.
James
This could go on for exactly as long as my attention span, which has been recorded at a maximum of 6-7 hours.
Overanalysis Guy
That was Minecraft dude. Doesn't count. You can task yourself entirely different kinds of projects until you die of old age in that game.
Unenthused Guy
No, it can actually get kinda monotonous once you reach effective post-scarcity.
James
Shut up. I'm tired. The sun is rising. I have stuff to do in the real world. See you guys later probably.
Overanalysis Guy
Well, as figments of your imagination, you won't actually be able t--
...
Self-Awareness Man
Hey, stop proofreading! It feels unfair. Like we didn't really say it if you edited it.
James
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is where the insomnia comes from.